My partner is currently grieving, I took him on a walk to the woods and we picked wild garlic and took pictures of the bluebells. It’s making me remember how I felt when I lost someone, I feel like I repressed a lot of the sorrow, I know I was sad, I remember that, but I don’t remember how it felt. I remember how I got through it. I’m envious that I was only 16 at the time, my partner is much older, I wonder if that helps though.. because you’re never prepared, we’re given no rule book, we have no point of reference, just our own memories and experiences. But I know that, be it age difference, he’s doing amazingly.
Photoshoots to soothe the soul
after a bit of creative block, i invited my friend over for some tea, kitten cuddles and some natural light portraits.
(you can see the full set on instagram @_perfectlycandid)
I love natural light images. these havent been edited apart from light contrast alteration to ensure they’re all evenly lit when seen next to each other. (apart from the back and white one obviously) Scroll to see the images.
I’ve interested a few more girls to have more shoots like this in the coming weeks, it’s a great way to boost confidence and allows you to love your natural beauty.
50mm 1.2, natural light only.
Model: Emily Hannah
Necklace: Agharta Jewellery
I was feeling inspired earlier, partly by the wonderful new pale blonde wig i bought, and ive set up a little daylight studio in the bedroom so i had a mini self portrait shoot.
used a 50mm 1.2 lens, daylight mimic bulbs, i used the awesome app that connects my phone to my camera to get it just right too.
I found this awesome artist too who inspired me to do something like these again, more test shoots with self portraits to come before my proper shoot on the 30th with my lovely model friend Emily
More on IG @_perfectlycandid
Watch this space! 🙂
The bath has always been my favourite place to be, laying under the water feeling my hair floating, feeling the weight of it and how it feels on my neck, I used to make the water a bit cool to feel like I’m in the ocean or a deep river.
As natural as the experience can feel
As natural as it feels to be with you
If I had to describe how it feels being the one you love I would use the world floating
When people talk about coming back down to earth, wherever that place is above earth, that’s where you are
I feel not myself, but in the sense that I don’t stop for even a second to be anxious or unhappy. I don’t have time.
Looking in your sparkling, kind eyes makes my heart melt.
If I had to describe how it feels being the one you love I would use the word floating
Forever floating into your arms, spending every day falling more in love with you.
Last night was the first night id been back in my old room and my old bed since moving out, i miss my boyfriend and my kitten terribly, and the little home we made.
I’m currently waiting for my Mum to get out the bath so we can have some ‘girlie time’.
I’m home because ive had to have a horrible test done today and i have physio tomorrow at 8am. Then another doctors appointment then i can leave all the irritating problems i face now and then for a fun underwear photo shoot back at the flat.
Last night was hard sleeping without him.
My room even smells of him.. i know that isn’t possible, i think my brain is just forging it now.
People keep asking me how its going because it’s all moved so fast and i almost feel confused by the question, they don’t understand how i feel, i’m utterly infatuated.
A second self or different version of oneself; Such as a trusted friend or the opposite side of a personality.
You know when you’ve had an argument with someone and later on you think ‘Oh, i should have said that‘ and you’re just certain that if you had remembered or thought to say that better word or sentence or acted in some better way right then and there the whole moment would have gone exactly as you’d planned… but not at the time.
I like to think of those moments being said by a ‘better’ me.
A personified manifestation of my.. shortcomings? my regrets, things i’m too scared to do or say, things i possibly am already but my insecurities are clouding my view and understanding of them, shoulda woulda coulda in human form.
And i’ve always wanted to meet her, but we never seem to be in the same place at the same time, we keep missing each other.
She smokes, she inhales between sentences and pauses for dramatic effect, not hand rolled, those long posh ones, her nails are long and red, she’s always got something interesting to say, she’ll shake her head and roll her eyes at you.
She walks with attitude, when you’re passing her on the street she’ll glance at you without turning her head, confidently. She wears heels to work and proudly stomps around in them on top of wooden floors. She never complains about her feet hurting.
She never dyed her hair so its super long and thick and it waves in the wind like a cloak as she struts through life in her high heels.
One day i’ll look down on her
Laid on the bed, lights dim, both in lounge around the apartment clothes, new kitten exploring her new kingdom, food on the way, opening credits to a film rolling, tangled in a comfortable web, basking in the love, stroking each others skin, we shut out the world when we’re in this room.
‘We’ve sort of run away you know’
‘Thank-you for choosing me’