i wish i could help

How can something that makes me feel so profoundly happy be so sad

depression

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Coming off hormone contraception – depression 

Today I am low. It’s been 5 days roughly since I decided to come off the pill, during that time;

  1. I’ve had my period start (which btw is 10x more painful and disastrous when off the pill) I didn’t think it would take effect this quickly but.. oh boy!.. it has. 
  2. Mood swings galore. 
  3. Insecure about everything about myself to the point where I feel literally useless and pathetic 
  4. I want every day just to end. I look forward to being back in my bed. Sleeping. Doing anything basically other than being awake. Or having my eyes open atleast. 
  5. Extra horny but not enough energy to do anything about it. 
  6. My boobs hurt ALOT 

So, overall, not good, but like I said I’m having my period and I’m feeling extra strength crazy at the moment anyway. I’m also having hot flushes, even right now as I’m typing. 

I’ve read some other side effects online and from what I can see the most common are 

  1. Weight loss
  2. Mood swing
  3. Pmt may be worse 
  4. You may be more horny 
  5. More painful/heavy periods 

But all this I still, even when I feel lo as hell right now, is STILL better than being on fake hormones for over a decade. 

Because ultimately I want to be baby free and happy. Clear. 

I’m on enough meds as it is right now.

So, next week I’m going to get the no hormone coil fitted, I’m very scared but I’ll tell you my progress! May be a good idea to get the higher strength CBD beforehand.. 

CBD oil for chronic pain | EDS | Day ??

So.. i fell off the earth for a few days as it was my boyfriends birthday weekend

I havent had any of the oil since my last update, i thought since id be drinking id see if i can handle with just the boozey pain killer instead of mixing the two

ill be back on my regular routine by Wednesday!

A good thing is i found a  much more local health foods shop that stock the same brand of oil for the same price! yay! after this bottle is empty im going to try to next stregnth up.

 

CBD oil for chronic pain | EDS | Day 5

I’ve had a really easy day today so im having my one dose before i go to sleep.

I went to another health shop today that stocks the same brand of CBD oil i use and i got talking to the sales woman who said a girl with fibro had recently tried the stronger oil, i think its two up from mine, and she said as soon as she wakes up, she knows what kind of day she’s going to have, but since shes been taking it, she doesn’t feel as much pain and she says its sort of gone unnoticed, like, she just suddenly realised she wasnt in as much pain anymore.

That’s exactly what its been like for me.

It allows you to feel totally normal, no side effects from pain meds or anything, just feeling normal for the first time in ages.

 

 

CBD oil for chronic pain | EDS |Day 4

SO apparently i’m not very consistent with the diary posts..

i worked 9-6 yesterday came home and crashed on the sofa (like always)

i only had one dose of CBD oil and that was on the way home from work.. so couldnt really tell if it was helping the pain or  not

so, not a very helpful post this one.. more like a day in the life of working when you have EDS

grow your hair

grow your nails

put your makeup on

pop that spot

cover that wrinkle

hide that stretch mark

pull up that skirt

bleach your skin

whiten those teeth

straighten your back

show off that cleavage

bleach your hair

we’re taught boys dont play with dolls, boys dont like dolls, our reflections say otherwise.

CBD oil for chronic pain | EDS | Day 3

Normal working day at the studio,  ive had 2 doses of the oil one in the morning the other in the afternoon, been in a great mood all day again and ive got minimal pain where i usually have the most pain after a normal work day – i actually feel like i have the energy and strength to do my physio exercises which is very rare.

im currently writing this while laying on my stomach and because of the curvature of my spine thats usually impossible after just 5 minutes but my back pain isnt half as severe as it would be normaly.

So far so good.

The only thing is its £22 a bottle and after even 2/3 doses a day every day it probably wont last you very long..

but we will see 🙂