i’ve been so down lately, and its for two main reasons:
i stopped taking my meds because its massively affecting my sex drive and evidently my paranoia – even though my very loving and supportive boyfriend keeps assuring my it hasn’t changed anything, i know its my fault and it makes me feel guilty.
i quit my job as a result of a few joint dislocations so i’m earning no money with lots of time of my hands, so ive decided to use my time building my portfolio and modelling to earn a small amount of money and to buck my spirits up.
the lovely weather inspired me to take some summery images – not my usual style.. but i love trying new things.
a walk in the long grass.
ill be shooting every few days till September so there’s plenty more to see here.
my new job, even though, im VERY excited to get paid, is killing me! the pain is terrible, however, it gives me a very good reason to stay in bed all day, and i feel every bit of pain i have i, in turn, become stronger both mentally and physically.
ankles – slightly swollen, clicking, 1/5
knees – feeling loose, 3/5
wrists – fine.
shoulders – craking more than usual, feeling loose, 2/5
hips – better. 1/5
legs – my femur bones keep locking and cracking, 2/5
back – lower pain, aching, cracking, weakness feeling. 4/5
i feel much more relaxed now. i have a few days off work, getting paid next week. i no longer feel anxious and guilty for staying in bed, having long baths, never putting on makeup and taking care of myself.
however, me and my other half havent had sex in a couple of months down to my legs feeling weak and my medication killing my sex drive.. this is a worry. but he understands. i love him so much.