The spotless mind

How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot, the world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d.
Moving on is a difficult concept to me, i’m the sort of person who logically and formally analyzes the pros and cons of ‘working through it’, its normally a fast, painless movement, usually, well, since i’m in the position i’m in right now, id say’ that every time it’s ended and i immediately  move on. I put myself into this colourful, cosy and comforting room full of potential, i see myself moving on and becoming a better person, i’ve made up my own mind, that person and that part of my life is over and i’d never go back, i focus on being free from that situation and that person and it seems like the best possible solution, why expend effort on something that’s only going to hurt you?
But, one downside of this being so easy and effortless to me is there’s always one day when i look back to that room and how long its been since i opened that door and i remember how much of myself i gave to that person in that time of my life. I feel myself changing so drastically each time i do this. im second guessing myself, wondering if it’s as healthy as i thought.
The worry isn’t that i’ve’ let the right people out of my life, it’s how easily i move on, do i give myself time to heal? Is there enough time to heal?
The truth is that, having someone to be able to sit in that room with and be comfortable enough to know that you’re both going to, and have always grown together, loved each other truthfully, stripped of concealed flaws, not selfish, not boasting, where the walls of the room are the only ones existing in your world. Effortless. Smaller things may lose meaning along the way, but its that path you need to stick to. True love..
Thats what we’re always looking for. It’s the only thing i’m consistently certain of.

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