i’m mature

i keep thinking that my days would go alot smoother if i didnt have these deep thinking, the world has stopped moving, revelation, moments at 11:30 on a morning.. anyway.


while editing some photos i was listening to imogen heap, the sort of  hopless romantic stuff i used to listen to when i was 14, her songs still resonate with me 10 years on. They mainly make me think of failed relationships, arguments with old boyfriends, then i focus on those moments and it feels like the most important and only thing in the world. Now i think of how i reacted and handled those moments and arguements. Lyrics like ‘heart in a headlock’ ‘where are we’? ‘what the hell is going on’? ‘dust has only just begun to fall’ and ‘sinking feeling’  put vivid memories back to the front of my mind. The relationship im in now feels so stable like it wouldnt break if a train hit it, which, obviously is a great thing, and its only happened because of the mistakes i made and the thousands of times id been cheated, lied to and left behind.

The faces are blurry but the moments those faces dragged me into are clear and sharp as ever.

If anyone reading this can relate even a little bit, read these lyrics, (and have a nice day!)

Imogen Heap, Hide and Seek:

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me ’round again and rub my eyes.
This can’t be happening.
When busy streets amass with people
Would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this still life.

What you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it’s all for the best? Of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it’s just what we need? And you decided this.
What you say?
Mmm, what did She say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don’t believe you.
You don’t care a bit. You don’t care a bit.


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