I’ve been posting about my illness, inconsistently (unfortunately i find it hard to stick to things, other than sleep) for years, i used to list my pain strength daily, but then i realised it was making me feel more disheartened rather than relieved. Since my last EDS post ive had two minor operations, several days spent in bed and many dislocations and plans cancelled. When i was discharged from physiotherapy i felt stronger and hopeful, i ignored the fact that what i’m living with WILL get worse whether i fight/ignore it or not. However, my symptoms have both changed and worsened, i have a heavily inflamed and very brittle tail bone and hips. This is the cherry on top of the fear that ill never be able to/ will find it extremely difficult and life ruining to have a baby.
In some ways, the physical pain beats the constant, nagging guilty feeling that my genetic mutation is stopping my innocent other half to starting a family.
It isn’t his fault, it isn’t anyone’s fault.