to model or not to model

when you’re a photography student too skint to hire actual models, you have to improvise, a lot of my friends have used me as their model, those photographs have been circled around on the internet and eventually landed me a few paid modelling jobs with professionals – i took this as an ego boost, a compliment and also experience into photography from a different angle (literally).

but recently, and especially after looking through my favourite alt model’s images, the only thing that comes to mind is ‘i can do that. i could totally do that. i have the looks. but what would i do if my mum saw it?’

is that pathetic? i see it as a bit of fun, a form of art even, but my mum would be worried and probably ashamed. maybe it’s because im from a huge family of boys and i have to be careful? i don’t know. either way, i want to have some sort of secret model life, id love my friends to see my body but not my family.

i wonder if anyone else feels the same way as me..

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